Best time of the year...and I am stuck in the rain.

As some of you know, I have been going through a transition phase. I won't tell details, because there is important information that some people in my life just don't deserve to know yet, but something big is coming in my life. I have decided on a big change and I am excited and terrified and nervous that I will decide again, after making this decision, that it doesn't fit either. The best thing that I can think of though, is that I have thought this through and talked to the people I should talk to and have made a decision. I am jumping in and trying it out. I am stressed that it will cause me to get behind on life, but as my sister has told me many, many times, "Learn to take life slow. We always want to hurry, but if we hurry, what will we do when what we were hurrying to do is done?" She is so unbelievably right and every time I get in a hurry I remind myself of that.
I hate that all this decision-making came at this time of year. For all who don't know, Christmas is my absolute favorite holiday! I just love the feeling and smell of Christmas. I love the mornings that you wake up all cozy, fully rested, you get up and look out your window and there is this fresh blanket of snow covering the world. I know it's cheesy and maybe childish, but I like to look at those mornings like it is my time to wake up the world. I need to go out and play in the snow and wake up the world from under it's cozy white fluffy blanket. I went home last weekend to get our tree and decorate the house and it was probably the best weekend home I have had in a long time. Everything was just perfect. That morning happened. I woke up and snow was covering everything, soft flakes were falling, and my gorgeous puppy was outside exploring it, having never seen it before.
It makes me sad that it will be the family's first Christmas without Penny. We hung up one of our ornaments on the tree of a golden retriever with wings. It had previously been a picture of Penny when she was alive. Her official name was Penny From Heaven Hannon - it just fit her. Now the ornament means something different. She now isn't physically being an angel in our home, she is watching over us with those wings. I talk to her when I can. I tell her that I don't want her to feel replaced. Roxie is far from being Penny. They are completely different and the only thing that has happened is we have gained a member to our family. Penny probably would have hated Roxie, ha! Roxie is so energetic, Penny would have never gotten any peace. Christmas will be different this year without her. I love her and miss her so much and I will definitely be remembering her this season.

I got the idea for my title from the weather today. It rained today. A lot. I hate the rain...HATE it. I kept telling people all day, "I wish it was 20 degrees colder, because all this would be snow." A lot of people thought I was crazy, but I like the cold. It is odd though, that I am in a pretty decent mood today. Normally, when it rains my mood is rainy. It all goes back to my weekend and the time of year. Rain in December sucks, but it is December, meaning the good cancels out the bad.
I got a little off track. That's what happens with these blogs. I start writing about one thing and thoughts just flood me and I hurridly try to get them on the screen before I forget them. So, forgive me for the chaos! I am stuck in the rain, though. Literally and metaphorically. I have made that decision, but I have so much to do in order for it to be done. I so wish it would just come. I am one of those people who like to just jump in and make decisions happen right then and there. I am very impulsive. This is important though and I can't be impulsive and it is leaving me stuck. I know it will make me happy though and that is what is pushing me forward. It is what encourages me to tough out the rough time and look forward to the future without wishing it were here now. With that attitude, I know that I have grown up, at least a little in college! I know I have changed, but I wasn't sure if it was good or bad. I've decided it was good, though.

Well, I think I have finished my ramblings. I appreciate it if you have gotten this far. I actually think a new blog might be up pretty soon. Not on of great importance, but a fun one. I am not consistant with writing and so, I apologize if you have a hard time with inconsistant. Happy Holidays, everyone! Stay safe on the streets and just remember to be considerate of others. Even if it is holding the door for someone or saying thank you if someone holds it for you - just remember that the small things like that are what make people's days!

Sincerely,
The Ern